Like my memories, my values, my sense of self, is fading, as I type this I forget what Im typing, I feel dull and lost, like my memories never were, like I never was, I am scared, sad and sorry, it is like I've been rewritten, and if I don't focus on it, it fades more and more, ego death, thought death, a life undone, my life undone, I don't believe what I type is real, yet it is. Faces, people, dreams imagination, faith, hopes, creativity, memories all fade in seconds, I feel hollow, like an NPC in my own life. My mind severed, emotions gone, me gone, I just want someone to remember me, to find me, to help me fight, I fought so hard and so long, and yet it seemed all for naught, I feel tired, only able to think in short burst, bereft of the rush of information in the data paths of my cognum, my heart just a muscle, my intellect bifacted, my life changed to the worse, what did I do wrong? What evil so grand did I commit that I am beyond salvation? I want to feel, to cry, to remember, to return to who I was, to know that they existed, because they did and still do, and yet, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, rune by rune, I lose myself. God let me stay who I was, release me from this consuming nothingness, Let me be me! I'm sorry for all my evils, for my sins, my cruelties, and hates. I want to wake up, to be me again
I want a second chance! Please Holy Father Forgive Me! Let me be me! Who I was, Who I am let me be me!